The Lore of the Lime

IF YOU’RE FEELING A BIT DOWN AND DRAB TRY THIS FACE MASK. MIX TOGETHER A SPOON OF NATURAL YOGURT AND THE JUICE OF HALF A LIME. MASSAGE THIS CLOCKWISE INTO YOUR FACE AND NECK FOR 5 MINUTES, THEN WASH OFF. HOPEFULLY, THE GODDESS OF BEAUTY SHOULD COME TO YOU!
IF YOU THINK SOMEONE IS BEING UNREASONABLE AND YOU ARE HAVING NEGATIVE FEELINGS ABOUT THEM TRY THIS. GET HOLD OF A PHOTOGRAPH OF THIS PERSON SMILING, AND, DURING A WANING MOON, RUB THE BACK OF THE PHOTOGRAPH ANTICLOCKWISE WITH HALF A LIME, AND THINK ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS THEY HAVE DONE FOR YOU IN THE PAST. THIS WILL DISPERSE THE NEGATIVE ENERGY AND THINGS SHOULD RETURN TO NORMAL.